ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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