3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't turn off my feet"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
