Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
