If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
