you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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