My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
