I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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