i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
