you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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