bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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