false alarm. still invincible.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize