yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
