I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
