Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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