i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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