So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
