I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
