Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
FUCK WHALES
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize