I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
