i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
