i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize