Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
