Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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