I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize