i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Someone came in the potted fern
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
