I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
