my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
