Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
