That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
