We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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