...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
