I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
