i think i have herpe
just one?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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