on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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