I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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