when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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