why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
