First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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