just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
operation have a gay friend backfired
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
