i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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