for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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