Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
