yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
