Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
