oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
