If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
