dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
