Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
