what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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