I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
