For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Semen is not good for contacts.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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