The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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