I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
