...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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