Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
