My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
