marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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