peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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