lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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