They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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