It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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