I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You can't motorboat a personality
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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