she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
